After college, my roommates began to scatter themselves across the Northeast. Simoni landed in Law School at the University of Buffalo, Crapplebee found himself in Binghamton, NY, and (as you know) I dungeoned myself in Syracuse. But Shumway and Dave (aka toomuchdave) escaped the clutches of Upstate and started their post-college lives in Washington D.C. (actually Northern VA). We visited them once already in October. And in the immortal words of AJ: "..that shit was bangin'". (Translation: we had a good time). Now, it's been several months since we've all been together again, so we had been looking forward to this trip for quite some time. If I was forced to describe our weekend in 5 words, I would choose the following:1. ROAD - From Syracuse, it's a gorgeous six hour drive through the rolling hills of the Appalachian Mountains, the green valleys of the Susquehanna, and the intolerable hell of construction zones. There's nothing more relaxing than watching orange cone after orange cone race by, while stuck behind an 18-wheeler in merging, single-lane traffic. To add to our joy, we experienced these majesties from the comfort of Crapplebee's '98 Dodge Stratus; a vehicle renowned for its extravagance. Our luxury sedan came fully equipped with 4 doors, seats, a steering wheel, a hole in the muffler, and brakes that were "acting a little funny" as Crapplebee casually described. (If you consider a double-foot pounce on the brake pedal in order slow down to be "a little funny", then yea, the brakes were a little funny. I would more accurately describe the brakes as "deadly". But who am I to judge Crapplebee's whip, I drive a fucking Neon.) Fortunately, I don't mind road trips with friends. We shot the shit, listened to Simoni's terrible taste in music, and ridiculed everyone and everything.
2. BOOZE - To our delight we arrived in the Capital city safe and sound and ready to party (thanks to 3 Red Bulls). And of course there was drinking, how else do people socialize? (A sewing circle? Book club?) But unlike college partying, post-college life has a different tone. We no longer drink to have fun, we drink to remain sane. We drink to forget about our shitty jobs, nagging girlfriends, and my uncle's basement. Just ask Dave and Shumway:
Shitty jobs, check
nagging girlfriends, check (I'm sorry if you're reading this Lori and Jenna; it's not you, all girls nag. Fact of life)
my uncle's basement, well they're not stuck in a fucking basement, but close enough.
So why do they drink on the weekends (and sometimes during work)? Because blacking out is better than remembering. I might not remember what happened, but I'll always remember not remembering, especially when I need to forget. (Re-read the last passage if you're having trouble following my logic.) This is why I went to visit the guys in D.C., because it allowed me to get away. I didn't have to sleep in my twin-sized bed and wake up in my uncle's basement swearing to myself. Instead, I had the pleasure of passing out on a roomy couch, with multiple cushions and a pillow for my sleepy head. Sure, I woke up with a pounding headache and the runs. But for one weekend I was able to forget about all my hardships... by blacking out. It was more than I could ask for.
3. TOILET - I spent my fair share of time on the can. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the rest stop food, or perhaps it was just being around Crapplebee for 72 hours, but something pissed off my digestive system. Fortunately, Dave subscribes to a wide array of magazines for shitting amusement. His bathroom was stocked with GQ, Esquire, and other magazines that teach men how to dress like assholes. Nonetheless, I found myself sitting on the john, long after I was done doing business, learning about the latest fashion trends (summer tip #22: show off your bulge). However, the feeling of pins and needles when I stood up was excruciating.
4. KIMBO - Did anyone see this monster fight on CBS? If not, Kimbo Slice is a big, scary, black guy whose been killin' people lately (sorta like OJ, but with a beard). He's a mixed martial arts fighter for an unknown league, ProElite. He looks more like a homeless man, not the next karate kid. His bout against James Thompson was on primetime network TV. (Really? Nothing else to fill the Saturday night slot? They can't be all out of reality shows!? What about the classics like Wife Swap, Kid Nation, or Britney & Kevin: Chaotic? The networks never gave these shows a chance to find their voice!) ...Anyhow, I thoroughly enjoyed watching this illiterate giant go toe to toe with an equally stupid giant with cauliflower ear the size of a golf ball (It does look like an unborn conjoined twin.)
5. LAUGHTER - The most important word of all. I always have a good laugh when I'm around Crapplebee, Simoni, Shumway, and Dave (I'm usually laughing at them). Whether we're making fun of Dave's ingrown toenails, Simoni's taste in music, Shumway's cleanliness OCD, or Capplebee's taste in men, it all cracks me up.
Well, as things go, the weekend came and went and on Sunday morning we found ourselves at the Washington/Dulles Airport renting a car. We didn't want to take our chances with the deathmobile so Crapplebee rented a Hyundai Santa Fe (A perfect car for him: it's an SUV, so its got some balls, but also a feminine touch). Six hours later, I was back in the basement.
What to take away from this post?: It's important to stay in touch with good friends who mean something to you. They'll be there for you through the ups and downs, the blackouts and the runs, or if you need a large sum of money to pay off your gambling debt. Good friends are hard to find. The other lesson I learned: enjoy life while you're young. It's important to get away once in a while. Take a trip somewhere, spend money you don't have, try drugs... do what you need do to break the monotony of life.
So start enrichening your life!
DPOL
What a perfect little world college was: limited responsibility (classes), 4 nights a week of drinking (5 nights and 2 days if you're Danny, 
